How the Mighty Have Fallen

A few years ago I was all about being frugal, self sufficient, from-scratch cooking and baking, all-natural everything, and exercise.  All of which are awesome.  Except I was prideful. Very very prideful.  I was proud that I was able to do that for my family.  Proud that I was good at it. Proud that people looked at me in awe.  And I loved that I was doing what was "best" for my family.  Setting a good example. I didn't think I was judgmental, but looking back maybe I was.  I felt sorry for those who didn't live that way.  Those poor silly people...stuck in the rut of processed foods.  "Microwave Mommas" who didn't provide the very best for their families.  So sad.  I shook my head at women in the grocery store whose carts were full of boxed meals and not much, if any, produce to speak of.

Don't get me wrong, I love that I was able to be a "Granola Girl".  I still have my grain mill and my Bosch mixer.  I still miss making bread and cooking from scratch.  I miss "real" food.  I miss how great I felt when I was working out and eating "clean".

But life isn't all about that.  In one moment, it all crashed down.  I went from a great paying job to being a single mom on welfare.  And then I got off welfare.  And then I got a second job.  And now I'm struggling to make ends meet and struggling to find time to breathe, let alone cook. Today I dashed to the grocery store and was struck by what I had in my cart.  I had bananas, apples, kiwi, and mango.  And I had milk and cheese.  And then I had frozen ravioli, Hamburger Helper, Rice A Roni, macaroni and cheese, and ramen.  Sigh.  And I often buy frozen meals for my lunches.

I used to judge people for this.  Yep. I did.  And now I understand that it isn't always an option.  I do the best I can with what I have.  And that means time and money, both.   I don't even have time to meal prep like I once felt was absolutely necessary.  I realize I could provide healthier meals, etc, if I used my day off for meal prep.  Except I don't get days off.  Like, ever.  And on the off bizarre chance that the planets align and I do I get one off I tend to use it to rest. Because I HAVE to.   And you know what? That's ok.